A little something..

Awake and can't go back to sleep right now up since about 1am. I'm o.k. I guess nap time around 5pm later today. Eli has had me up for a little while now. He's looking at me type and smiling. Only 5 months old and pulls at moms heart strings already.

This little guy has brought both our families together more closer. I'm happy for that... I've put all of us together and I've built a good family better than what I had growing up, but I strive everyday to make mine what I want and need it to be.

Had to put up it made me smile

I was going through some things and I came across this thought I'd put it up because it made me laugh a little. The humor in it.

If you can't read it, it says
"Its Not worth it, Roy! Let's just give him our noses & let him go"

They know..and still do

They know what happened, with little help from anyone. She would talk to others about what she thought she knew and heard from others not knowing the real truth. Telling others about the so called life her step daughter lived only half of it being real other half fiction. So what if I only came in with the clothes I had on my back maybe thats all I had. I never asked to be there. Forced to live with a father I barely knew and a mother and a step mother that wasnt doing right by me.
Living with her children was hell she told them things about me to make them hate me. My father was always gone working or cheating on his wife. He was such an alcoholic. Breath smelling of such cheap beer and words of unkindness. We knew to never wake him once he was asleep bad things would happen. He'd beat my brother every thirty mins. for bringing home an F. What mother lets any man beat their child?  I hated that because my step mother would get mad about it and come into my room late at night pull me out and beat me...all because my father was beating her son.
In a way I got myself out the situation. My father got drunk one night and punched me in the eye. The next day his wife begged me not to go to school. I went anyway. And from there things got better.
I'm thankful for how my life is and how my husband has helped me through it all.
He's my rock and I will forever be grateful for him and all that he does for me.
Sometimes its hard to let go of your past.
But sometimes we have to learn to forgive and live.

There's light at the end of each tunnel.

Ewww no,no,no not again!

Oh my what a dream well a bad dream I had this morning. It was about my family and friends going to a movie and everything started out o.k. the movie theater was packed with alot of people. As we were sitting there a person that worked there came up and took food away from a crowd of people because they werent suppose to have their own food inside the theater.  They were getting an attitude with the guy and giving him a hard time. So I look over in to the other people beside us and someone started throwing up on people! People that were seated began to get up and run out. But some how some people had began to turn into zombies because of the throw up. EWWWW everybody then got up and ran out so did all the zombies. I stayed behind to help. But within a few min. of being there a woman that I was trying to help began to turn so I ran out and on my way out I saw a phone and picked it up and ran out.

I saw a truck left out in the parking lot and I jumped in and started it. I was driving and as soon as I got on a main road the phone started ringing I answered it and it was my mom. She said in a low voice that she'd been bitten and not to come to her house and that my sister Nicole was bitten as well. I was very upset and as she was dying over the phone she said she loved me but I couldnt understand the rest of what she was trying to say. I stopped to tell others what was happening and most said they were headed out because they'd heard it through the news about the zombies. I tried to get out this nightmare and finally I did at about 6 something. I hope to never have a dream like it again felt to real. I think I've been watching AMC's "The walking dead"

Tired small talk

Oh man I could really go for a Bojangles sausage and cheese biscuit right now LOL! Their not even open right now. But thats o.k. they'll be open eight hours LOL. Thats not my favorite place to eat but I do like thier biscuits though. 
I must be tired...talking about Bojangles at 10:12pm. Ughhh!
I really need sleep!

OHH Thanksgiving & how I feel about christmas

Thanksgiving went well. I thought we'd go to my sister in laws and my mothers but we didnt due to other reasons.
My husband got a 20 pd. turkey so were still eating on turkey. Good thing todays the last day. I had made turkey and dumplings last night and yes it turned out great. So tonight its just enough to have left overs. And that should be it for turkey. At least till Christmas. I HATE CHRISTMAS!!! really I do I really mean every bit of it! call me a grinch if you want it dosent bother me a bit LOL!
My family celebrates it and I feel obligated to be there because og gifts to the kids and family. I never get anything because its such a fake holiday I tell my family and husband not to get me anything.
I think I'll save up some money every year so around christmas my husband and I can get away from all the hype.  Maybe on a cruise or something. Just far away from that holiday and come back just in time to see the ball drop with friendds and family.
What do you do over the hoildays?

A.C was good & a bit more

Sat. night I made a apple crisp and by adding whipping cream to the apple filling Oh My Goodness. It made a difference...really it did! It was liked by everyone here.

As you can see I couldnt help myself..I had to sample a small piece

and when it hit my mouth! Oh boy LOL! I love baking I'm getting better and better at this all smiles about that. Granny smith apples were used for this. Thanksgiving is coming up and were suppose to go to my sister in laws house and I really don't want to go! not because of her but there will be people there I don't know. I'm such an introvert I really wish I wasnt. I don't keep friends very long because of it. It gets annoying at times I'm soooooo shy people take it as me being stuck up.

I'm not it has alot to do with my life and me being scared of people in general.

 But I'm still a good person regardless. I at times am a push over but I pick and choose my moments.

I started writing this blog to relieve myself of the inside. Sometimes you know you have to get somethings off your chest or just talk to someone.

 But not to bore you this morning I'll write something later.

Good day